HELLASICK of HELLAFLUSH, bring on the function…

HellaFail

DISCLAIMER: There are functional hella-flush setups out there.  Heck, I’m borderline hella-flush, albeit with big, fat, meaty tires.  My frustration lies with the terms “poke” and “stretch”.  I’m not going to try to describe this phenomenon to you, there is plenty of information out there attainable by a quick search… additionally I’ve linked a couple sources of information here.

I frequent a few automotive forums in the Subaru community.  Over the past couple years the HELLA-FLUSH scene has really spread… it’s my opinion that its getting a little out of hand.  So here is my very futile attempt at ‘dysfunctional car’ prevention.

For those in the dark about the the pitfalls involved with a HELLA-FLUSH setup, check out this article; MotoIQ – Hella Fail.
WARNING: Graphic images of vehicle neglect.

OP;
Okay,

I have done much searching and even trying to talk to others that have a similiar setup but never any mention back. I have a 2011 STI sedan and I am going with a 18×10.5 +30 wheel, I have BC coilovers….the question is do I HAVE to have the rear control arms or can I use the stock ones with some kind of a camber kit like the Whiteline one? My tire size will be a 245/40-18

Thanks in advance to any information you have!!

“Jaz”;
Whoa – a 245/40 tire on a 10.5 rim??? I don’t think that will work. A 245/40 is quite stretched on a 9.5 rim.

OP;
@ JAZ I actually know of someone with a 225 on a 10″ so I should be alright for now at least….

My thoughts (replied & evolved a bit)…

I know an individual or two who have spent paychecks on methamphetamines, so no harm in rocking that either I suppose…  That’s some seriously flawed logic, sir.

Listen, if you’re asking me… which you’re not, but I’m going to say it anyways… You’re letting the wrong folks influence you. This super-duper hellaflush thing is quite popular, heck I even see some and think to myself “that doesn’t look half bad, I’d venture to say I actually quite enjoy that.” But you lose so much function; not just high-performance function either, legitimate daily driving characteristics will be hindered just the same.

Have you seen how your pals with these ridiculous setups have to drive over the slightest bump in the road? I don’t know if where you live is one giant parking lot for miles that has absolutely no transitions and was just paved last week… but if not, I will say those transitions are going to become quite cumbersome after a short while. Oh, and forget speed bumps or drainage paths. Spirited driving? Thing of the past, you’re slow-cruisin everywhere with a puckered up shit-chute sweating over pavement cracks like they’re about to break your mother’s back.

My advice is this; don”t stretch a tire that much… if you do, put a bead of gorilla glue to help secure it to the wheel for safety’s sake.

Obviously that’s a joke, the glue won’t actually serve a functional purpose.  Just like your car once you’ve achieved HERRA-FRUSH status. For the sake of whatever god you pray to or believe in, think of the tire… I imagine that if your tire had a face, its expression as it hung on for dear life would look something like this…

TooMuchStretch

Imagine just trying to skate with this thing down the road to your pal’s car that’s parked at the corner cause his tire slipped off the bead of his wheel. He needs help getting his spare on pronto, which by the way is going to be HELLA-TUCKED into the fender well.

Flush-Skateboard

Never mind taking it to a park and doing kick-flips and fakies or whatever else those super limber athletic kids are doing these days… just consider how fucking annoying it would become to have to constantly be on the look out for little pebbles and making sure you’re balanced in the right spots so you don’t scrape.

Now, I’m not saying you need to go full-retard like me and run some mixture of a track setup/stanced garbage on a daily driver… I mean, it looks like I’m riding on balloons; but its HERRA-FUNCTIONAR. I can hit bumps at like 50mph and corners at like 15’ish mph and not worry about my tire shooting off my wheel like one of those paper wasp things that you’d shoot at the nerdy kid in science class (damn bullies).

In the end it’s your car, do what you want.  But write this down, you WILL get sick of slamming on your brakes as your butt-hole puckers up cause there is a 1/2″ dip in the road and the SUV full of stoners behind you both A) doesn’t know where their brake pedal is, let alone have the reflexes to hit it in time and B) can’t stop in their classified mail truck as fast as you can in your tin can with Brembos.

EDIT to add this comical video;

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